Time To Wise Up, Children

Remember how I told you about Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny? And about how God loves you and will always look after you? Well, it was all a load of bull. Sorry about that.

And, while I’m in a confessional mood, I might as well come clean on some other stuff that has more to do with wishful thinking than actual reality. Stuff like Crime never pays, Always stick to the truth, Never accept or pay a bribe, Respect the law because everyone is equal before it, and The Constitution guarantees all your human rights. Well, I’m afraid this is also a load of delusional horse manure and, now you are getting big, it’s better if I fill you in on how it really is out there. Otherwise you are never going to cope.

I will take just two examples to illustrate how things work, as opposed to how they are meant to work. The first involves His Excellency, The Honourable Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma, State President of South Africa. Now, you would think that the State President, being State President and both honourable and excellent, would behave in a way that is beyond reproach. Well, you think wrong. A court of law found that he was in a corrupt relationship with the convicted fraudster Shabir Shaik. Shaik got 15 years, but the case against Zuma was never pursued. Not fair, you say. Everybody should be treated equally, even the President. Huh! Jacob and his cronies were able to influence the judiciary and make the allegations go away. Abracadabra.

The other example is the Oscar Pistorius case. From the circumstantial evidence this is what happened. He had an altercation with his girlfriend, flew into a jealous rage and threatened her with his firearm. She fled to the bathroom and then locked herself in the toilet. Oscar entered the bathroom and fired four shots through the toilet door, knowing that his girlfriend was on the other side. An open and shut case, you would think. But Oscar claims it wasn’t like that. No, he thought the person locked in the toilet was a dangerous intruder. Don’t make me laugh, you say. Only a total fuckwit, unable to imagine his way into Oscar’s luxury abode, would buy that version.

The President is a proven crook by association, and if you care to Wiki him, you will see that there is a long list of dodgy activity that he is involved in. But in spite of this, he became our State President and is likely to be re-elected for a second term in 2014.

Oscar Pistorius is out on bail and preparing for his trial. It is more than likely he will walk free when his very expensive hotshot lawyers rip to shreds the case brought by the damn-fool prosecution. He will then get on with his life and leave this unpleasant incident behind him.

See the pattern, kids? See how it works? Learn the lessons from these two examples and adjust your moral code accordingly. To help with the priorities I will summarize as follows:

Making money is the most important thing in life

Money can buy you anything

Make friends with people in power

Never do favours for those who can’t reciprocate

Don’t waste your time on ordinary people unless you can exploit them

Everyone expects a bribe or a kickback

Always insist on getting your own way

Learn how to badmouth the competition when their backs are turned

We all have our price

The weak and the ignorant deserve to be taken advantage of

It is possible to buy or lie your way out of any situation

Never admit that you were wrong

I hope this little crash course on how to make it in the real world has brought you up to speed, my lovelies. Now go on out there and make your mark on life. The best of luck!