“And the more we fought, the more irritated I was by certain
aspects of his behaviour and his appearance.”
“For example?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Little things; stupid things.” I thought
she didn’t want to elaborate. Maybe it was too personal, or too painful. But
after a while she resumed. “Like the smell of his piss on the toilet floor.”
“Most men tend to splash,” I said. “Especially those with a
foreskin.”
“I know. It’s revolting. And he expected me to clean up
after him, with my bare hands.”
“Filthy bastard,” I said. From the hard look she gave me,
she probably thought I was being flippant, so I hurried on. “It ties in with
what you said about him having no respect. And his appearance? What irritated
you about his appearance?”
“Well, he’s overweight, isn’t he? I never used to imagine
I’d be with someone who was fat.”
“Mmm,” I said.
“And there was something about the back of his head,” she
said.
“The back of his head? What was wrong with the back of his
head, for Christ’s sake?”
“It was kind of flat,” she said. “It made him look like a
moron.” Anger and tears came to her eyes. “That fucking bitch mother of his
must have caused it when he was a baby.”
“What? How could …?”
“Don’t you know how soft a baby’s skull is? If you neglect a
baby and leave it lying on its back too much, it can affect the eventual shape
of its head. Haven’t you heard about that? Damn you! You think what I’ve been
going through is funny? I knew I couldn’t …”
“No, please! I’m not laughing at you. Really. It’s the
situation that I find absurd, and you know how I relish black comedy and the
way absurdity allows us to cope with the tragic by making it comic. Talking
about the shape of his head made me think of the Phrenologists. Heard of
Phrenology? You watched Django Unchained? Remember that scene where the
plantation owner produces the skull of one of his Negro slaves and starts
pointing out the characteristics that prove – in inverted commas – that
Africans are predisposed to certain qualities. Like subservience. Which means
it’s all right to have Negro slaves. Total bullshit, of course. But in the
nineteenth century this pseudo science was used to explain and justify all
sorts of dubious practices. Your linking of the shape of his head to his mental
capacity just struck me as …well … absurdly phrenological.”
“I know it’s all ridiculous,” she said. “But it’s too soon
for me to find it funny.” And she started crying again.
